Happy Thanksgiving every one! It’s a time for giving thanks and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m so thankful for all of my family and friends. I have confidants which is simply amazing to me. You know those people you can throw up on and somehow they still love you. They respect you in the morning regardless of the crap you spew. That is fortunate indeed. I have Sam who always pushes me to write and when I don’t she bugs me about where the depth is. She’s the friend that would reach into her pocket and give you her last dime if she could. She is the one person who can ALWAYS make me laugh. She endorses my inner dork which says a lot because there is a lot in there. As a people pleaser laughing doesn’t come easy but with Sam I’m 100% me. It sounds like an exaggeration but it is true. I am so grateful for that encouragement and that love. I’m grateful for my eastern philosophe who everyday gives me some words of wisdom by which to live by. He is often right and knows what I need to hear. Most of all he is “there.” After all he was present at a time when I needed an ear. His ear must be sore by now after 8 months but I continue to talk. I hope someday I can just listen. I’m also happy that I have a rock star text buddy. She gives it to me hard, straight and “crystal clear.” She’s funny which also makes the reality wedgies worth hearing. Then there is my sister in law who is the softest rock I have ever met! She talks to me every day and gives me love and support without me ever having to explain anything. She has been a great ear and also an amazing moral support! There are others like my family who help me daily but these four confidants have really helped me get through the biggest change of my life. For them I am thankful. For them I’ll enjoy the roast turkey, cranberries, potatoes and pie.
I’ll miss my mother in laws pies, the family and the long drive to visit them. We have had 14 years of holidays which I am so grateful for. They were always kind to me and I always enjoyed their hospitality. To my mother in law, I say thank you for the years together. I’ll always remember the London cookie story and for the piñata stuffing. Now we know that over stuffing a piñata makes it virtually impossible to break open. We’ll laugh about these stories forever I hope! I’ll always understand that you love your son and therefore I’ll have to say goodbye, but know that as a mother I fully understand and will never begrudge you for that. I’ll miss our holidays and our trips but I’ll always remember them fondly and I’ll always love your kindness. To the rest of the family, thank you for the years together!
I am most thankful for the opportunity to see my kids grow and learn. Almost every night we read together and I can see their site words developing day by day. How lucky am I? The beauty of spending everyday with young kids is that change is significant. They can go from babbling to speaking sentences almost overnight. It’s like watching a movie. You can see their brains developing almost as time lapse photography. Again, I’m not exaggerating. We do workbooks in the morning and again, their math skills are developing right before my eyes and I had a direct effect in their success. That’s a truly incredible feeling!! I am so fortunate to have had this time to spend with them directly affecting their learning. Oddly enough just having had this time makes the entire pain and agony of the past 8 months worthwhile. I have had the freedom to pick them up from school, take them to school and drive them to classes. It’s a luxury that may soon end but at least I enjoyed it and I savored every single second of this time.
Something that I rarely talk about but am so grateful for is my three nieces. They remind everyday why life is beautiful. They share and give love unconditionally and every day I am able to kiss them and talk to them is a day I am grateful for. There is one niece that really makes me value every day and that’s my oldest niece. She is special in that she makes you value every step you take, every time you run and every time you articulate kindness and truth. My little magical niece, I love you more than I could ever express with words and am grateful for every second I get to spend with you! You and your sisters own my heart and soul and I hope someday I make you proud!!
It’s my first holiday without my “family” sort of speak. I’ll have to forgive myself as I do a little more mourning. I’m hoping that this positive wave hits me and I get through it without shedding a tear. The last post put me in the hot shower crying my eyes out for over an hour. My head hurt, my eyes were swollen and I was completely emotionally drained. But, we fight on like a football team trying to get that touchdown. We divorced people are fighters, adjusters and warriors. We have moments of reenacting the trials of Sisyphus and living in Dante’s inferno yet we wake up day after day to do it all over again not noticing that little by little we are learning to speak, walk and live all over again. For those that graduate and find their new path, we newbies thank you for talking about your tribulations and your new lives. Without knowing that there is another path for us divorcees we would have given up so I thank those of you have written your new path!