You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’
What would I do right now if I was to stop and face the fears that stand before me at this very second? One, I would sign off on my divorce agreement as it is right here and now! That’s the first thing I would do. I think it is my greatest fear, right this very second. The second thing I would do is have the kids call him more often. He doesn’t call them so I stopped trying to have them communicate with him. After all, the kids are only six years old, really not their responsibility to reach out to him, but for the sake of my kids it might be good for them to know he is still there in some way. This too has been a long burning fear of mine. He sees them so rarely and they still love him for simply holding the title of father (I know, jealous does not become me) or they’ll love the new wife (after all she can hand them a Popsicle during a monthly visit and they’ll think she is the greatest thing since sliced bread).
My other big fear is losing the house but that too I must face. I have searched high and low for options to save the house but really there is no answer. He wants out and he wants it BAD. He left with another woman so I imagine after close to two years of dating in your 40’s the next step is buying a home and getting married. I’m assuming here so I get that ass part but I say this really to say that trying to save the house would only allow me more opportunities to assume the worst of the situation, Over is over regardless of my emotional attachment. In fact, by facing my fear, I can look fear in the eye and say, “take that, I’m not afraid of you.” The byproduct of facing my fear at this very point and time is courage!! I wish I had come up with this but I have to admit, I read a short story that inspired me. Leah Cox, (visit WhereisLife.com) a courage coach, helps people face their fears every day. What a stupendous way to live out your life!! She did that for me and I got that just from reading her article on Tiny Buddha.
There are good people out there helping essentially flawed people just like me simply by the act of being authentic with themselves, so why not start now, today. Find ways to face your fears or find yourself a Courage Coach. Either way, find a way to not sit in the slush that we create for ourselves. Fight to get through the mud! Better yet, get out and run in the mud!